


Foregone Conclusion

by zaan



Series: Unfamiliar Affections [4]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-14
Updated: 2019-04-14
Packaged: 2020-01-13 06:20:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18463241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaan/pseuds/zaan
Summary: Julian knows exactly what Garak needs - whether Garak wants it or not





	Foregone Conclusion

**Author's Note:**

> Busy week at work, so I couldn't finish Ch 3 of If I Could Tell You. Rather than post nothing, I thought I would put up this little related bit. It takes place fairly early in their relationship, and I've referenced it in If I Could Tell You.

"You need a middle name," Julian announced at one day at lunch.

Garak glanced up at him curiously.  "And why is that?"

Julian, already finished his meal, leaned back in his chair and smiled.  "For when you're in trouble."

"Forgive me if I fail to see the logic," said Garak, finishing the last bites of his pie.  He put down his fork, gathered up his tea, and settled in with it, waiting for the explanation that was sure to follow.

Julian happily donned his professorial robes and began.  "Not all cultures used middle names, of course, but many did.  In ancient Rome, having multiple names was reserved for people of higher status.  Women had lower status in that culture, so tended to have only two names, while slaves only had one.  Aristocratic males, on the other hand, could have multiple middle names; in fact, one consul -  Q. Pompeius Senecio Sosius Priscus – had 38 names."

"That seems a little excessive."

"Exactly.  Like peacock tail feathers."  Observing Garak's blank look, he held out his hands in rough approximation and explained.  "It's a bird.  The males have pretty but extremely long and impractical tailfeathers, which are used to attract mates.  Middle names were like that in Western cultures in the 1700s, when aristocrats started giving their children lavishly long names to indicate their place in society.  That was true in Spanish and Arabic cultures too, where middle names were adopted from paternal or maternal ancestors.  Many Europeans, by contrast, used a saint as their child's middle name.  Of course, non-familial and non-religious middle names gained popularity and parents started giving their child whatever name they happened to like. "

Garak took a long sip of his tea, then remarked.  "Fascinating as always, my dear, but you do seem to have strayed from your original point."  Garak sighed as Julian furrowed his brows.  "My needing a middle name?" Garak prompted.

"Oh, right.  Well, you see, an unintended consequence of having a middle name is that it turns out it's very effective for parents to use when you're in trouble.  First, no one goes around using your middle name (unless it's a nickname  - which is another story) so when your parents _do_ use it, it kind of stops you in your tracks.  And then they have this trick of saying it really slowly, so it allows you plenty of time to build anticipation and think about what's going to happen to you.  So, you need a middle name so I can let you know when you're really in trouble."

"I see.  And how would I benefit from you giving me a middle name?"

Julian grinned.  "You wouldn't.  It's entirely for my benefit and, I might add, there's nothing you can do about it.  I've decided."

Garak rolled his eyes.  "Very fair.  Do I get any say about the name?"

"I'll give you three vetoes.  Which you must admit is awfully generous of me."

"I admit nothing of the kind.  But who's to say you won't first suggest three vile names you don't even like, just to make me use up my vetoes?"

"I probably will.  I did warn you this was entirely for my benefit – and amusement.  The only thing now is to pick a name ... " he tapped his fingers against the table as he thought.  "Shoggoth?  No, it's got to flow, you see, and Elim Shoggoth Garak just doesn't."  He paused.  "I don't suppose you'd want to use your father's name?"  He raised his eyebrows hopefully.

"You suppose right."

"Oh, and what is – was? – his name?"

"That is entirely irrelevant for this conversation, doctor."

"I could call you Elim Dukat Garak."

"Veto."

"You know I'm kidding."

"I'm not willing to take the chance you won't use it out of spite."

Julian tipped his head back in thought.  "Auden?  You actually liked his poetry.  I kind of like that but it's too cute.  Iloja?  No ..."

"Dear, lovely as it is to see you flounder around with a new interest, perhaps we could get back to the book, dreadful as it is."

"What is it with you and Shakespeare?  Othello is a great tragedy."

"You mean farce.  Othello deserves everything he gets.  That a leader should be so weak and sentimental, to give in to such a base sentiment as jealousy!"

"That's a little harsh, isn't it?  He's being manipulated by Iago."

"He shouldn't have been able to be manipulated."

"But he thought Iago was his friend."

"You're making my argument for me."

"I think Iago is the weakest part of the play, actually.  Iago creates havoc to create havoc.  He's got not no motive, no reason behind his actions.   What he does is indefensible; he's got no redeeming characteristics."

"Really, my dear, he's not one of your simplistic Bond villains. Your partiality and misplaced sympathy for Othello makes you overlook the complexity of the character.  You simply lack the imagination to understand him, much as Othello does.  Iago's daring, ingenuity, powers of deception, verbal skill, and ruthlessness are unparalleled.  Just because he's not easily understood doesn't mean he's evil or motiveless."

Julian stared at him for a second, then started to laugh and laugh.

"What?" said Garak.

Julian grinned and said slowly, "Elim Iago Garak, I do believe you have a point."

**Author's Note:**

> I can really see Julian wanting to do this - and what other name could be more appropriate?


End file.
